MERRY CHRISTMAS
It’s been quite a year.
Gary Blonde and I kicked January off with matching pageboy haircuts. A great look for Gary but one that just made me appear shorter.
February ushered in our all-blueberry diet, which brought with it some interesting side effects but nonetheless slimmed us down enough to fit into our series of human-sized hamster tubes. This made our “America’s Got Talent” audition possible, if not successful.
March was dodgy, weather-wise. It rained a lot, which wouldn’t have been bothersome, except that in March Gary and I were both roller skating as our primary mode of transportation in an effort to save on fossil fuels and to tone our calves, thighs, and buns. Fortunately, Gary finished school this same month (huzzah!), which meant no more cross-town commute to school.
In April we founded competing wizard rock (or wrock) bands. This was tense, to say the least. My band, Muggle Rock, received critical acclaim, but not the commercial success that Gary’s band, Gary & The Gryffindors enjoyed. In the end, we were both bested by Harry Potter & The Magical McGuffins, which triumphed over us at the Tri-Wizard Battle of the Bands. This tested our bonds, as you can imagine, but we persevered and have since formed a superband called Mrs. Norris & The Snape Decks. Gary’s rauschpfeife skills continue to improve, though I’ve yet to make much progress with the Scottish bladder pipe, a goal for 2012.
May marked our cat Frances Mittendorf’s 8th birthday. And since he’s currently living at home and is 40-something in cat years, we began encouraging him to look for a job. He says he’s contemplating a year abroad or graduate school in humanities. We just sigh, wondering which is less practical, a year of international loafing or continued classics studies.
We celebrated one year of living in our new home in June and have so far loved every moment of settling in and adapting the home to our tastes. Plus, amateur recreational plumbing is something we both enjoy.
With July came a number of great trips, including our annual Civil War reenactment, where we reprised our roles as Brigadier General Sherman Oakes and the stalwart Bonny Bean, Private, Union Army.
In August we made an attempt at borscht. Never again. The kitchen looked like an episode of Dexter.
September brought the harvest. We have no garden, mind you, but we made a big trip to Grocery Outlet Bargain Market where we purchased off-brand and slightly dented canned goods. Only one word can describe the cheap food harvest we reaped: bountiful.
In October I reached my one-year blogging anniversary. I’ve been writing about stuff and things and suchwhat for Persephone Magazine. One of my snarkier stories went viral, to my amazement, and scored me an interview with Corey Dade from NPR. It was all I could do to keep from shouting to Mr. Dade, “I’m a meme!” I imagine this would have been awkward, especially since I don’t actually know what a meme is. Gary continues to contribute fruitfully to the webbernets using his Zombie Squad moniker. And through ZS he’s also had the chance to participate in some reality TV shoots. These brushes with celebrity brought back memories of April’s wrock debacle (wrockbacle), but thankfully, we each enjoyed only 10-12 minutes of fame a piece, so disaster was skirted.
We celebrated three years of marriage in November and put the finishing touches on plans for our early December anniversary trip: a Caribbean cruise, with stops in Jamaica and Grand Cayman. In Jamaica we visited Ocho Rios, Prospect Plantation, and Dolphin Cove. We were bathed in rum and Red Stripe (not literally) and stuffed with jerk chicken (yes, literally). Then off to Grand Cayman where we spent some time in George Town and also soaked up some good, sweet UV rays on Seven Mile Beach.
We’re now enjoying December’s benefits as we begin celebrating the holidays with family and friends. We look forward to seeing many of you this month; hopefully some of you will entertain us (though preferably not with puppets, I don’t care how hot the Muppets movie is right now), feed us, and ply us with drink.
At that, I’d like to conclude this 1st Annual Blonde Family Christmas Letter. As you may have guessed, some of the information contained herein is true, some of it is exaggerated, and the rest is entirely fabricated.
Much love as we head into a new year,
Gary + Buster & Frances Mittendorf (mew)
